i don't like sucking hair
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
