Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
