YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
zippers are such a cool invention
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
