He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I need water and some morals
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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