after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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