I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
