the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize