He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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