Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
