I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
