Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
