coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
