the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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