fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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