When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize