Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize