where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
why didn't you poke me back
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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