when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
