i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
