I wannas sexs uuuuu
how can u be prego again
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
