FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
