i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
