Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize