I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
