I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
