True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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