so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
