its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
