Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize