he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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