just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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