Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
