I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
