i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
well you can't waste a boner
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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