so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
