I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
