I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
