there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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