That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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