I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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