How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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