Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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