your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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