I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
