It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize