I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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