All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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