Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
