Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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