So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
