Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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