Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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