How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
