let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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