she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
