brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
