Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You may now shotgun with the bride
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
