i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
