Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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