By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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