): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
